Ron rants about the idea of “buying the image.” Too many people waste their money on the quick fixes and look to the superstars for the miracle cures. Stop spending your money on the latest trends. Take care of yourself and take responsibility for your actions. Eat right and do a push up.

You know why I was running through the woods in a dangerous area at night?

I was being chased by Jillian Michaels [laughs] who claims these abs don’t come free, ladies. “You have to buy my book, my protein [laughs] bar and all that bullshit I puke out.”

My goodness. “Maximize Your Life,” with Jillian Michaels. For 125 bones, you could go hear her talk about her life…150 bucks, my bad, excuse me. They did a real in-depth conversation with her.

Look, God bless her. She’s making a dime off of trying to promote people being healthy. She’s doing her shtick, the tough trainer crap. It’s, to say the least, boring.

I want people to pay $150 to come here to hear me talk. Will you please do that? $1.50? I’ll take it.

There’s a problem when you allow someone to sell you an image. We do it with politicians. We do it with ourselves. We create an image of ourselves and then we cause consternation and drama in family situations, spousal situations, with your kids. The project should just be practicing being yourself.

Try and figure out what you want to do. Try and just be a normal person.

You like kettlebells? Swing a kettlebell. Don’t become a kettlebell ninja! Don’t get Orthorexia [laughs] .

If you like maces, throw a fricking mace at a dog, I don’t…Don’t do that, leave the dogs out of it. But some of these raccoons around here, let me tell you.

Look, I’m just busting on Jillian Michaels because she’s like Oprah, she’s just out there. She’s puking the company line. People are feeding her stuff to say so her book sells, but here’s the bottom line.

You don’t need a book to figure out what to do. Don’t eat crap. Don’t eat crap. Don’t eat crap, or anything that looks like crap.

It isn’t tough, folks. We make it tough. We make it a project. We make it a t-shirt. We should do a 5K run. Yeah, let’s do a 5K run for “Pick a Malady.”

You really have to get a hold of this stuff. America’s just crashing and burning at an alarming rate because we all need to be part of something that’s something else, instead of just waking up, raking your damn lawn…”We’ll get to it”…and taking care of yourself.

More importantly and most importantly is that we take responsibility for everything we do. If you’re letting Jillian Michaels or Oprah, or Orthorexia control your life, then you’re getting what you deserve, which is nothing.

Whereas if you let Gary and I control your lives….for $9.95 a month, we’ll come over, we’ll mow the lawn, comb your hair.

Orthorexia. We’re done. Go away.