Pop and high-fructose corn syrup has become the cause of the obesity epidemic that is happening in America. We are killing ourselves and doing nothing to stop it. We continue to eat unhealthy food and sugary pops and they are destroying our insides. Stop it!

All right. Halloween is upon us, a couple of days away. Trick or treat. Sugar, an excuse to eat a lot of sugar. Let’s eat a lot of sugar together. But before you do, you know how I love to rant on articles. Then, I’ll tell you what Gary and I are going to do for Halloween. We’re going to dress up.

See if you can guess what we’re going to dress up as. All right, so there’s so much to look through today, but we’re going to just take one of them. Wait, is that a bear coming? Listen, I hear a bear coming through the leaves.

Pop, a culprit. Is sugar linked to fatal heart woes? Sugar linked to fatal heart woes, pop…why yes. America drinks I don’t know how much pop, and I don’t care. For some reason, everybody thinks it’s OK. It’s not. You’re going to see a million articles like this, not that you want to believe them or disbelieve them. But pop’s crap, OK? It’s crap.

I don’t care what anybody says, “Limit yourself to one pop a day.” It’s crap, OK? Tape it to your body…in fact, here’s what you do. Here’s what Gary and I are doing for Halloween. We’re going to get duct tape and empty pop cans, and we’re just going to tape them all over to our body. We’re just going to go as big puffy, mushy, gooky kind of pop drinking sons of bitches. [laughs]

The sugar thing is what the serious part of the blog is about. They put sugar in everything now. They put sugar in beef jerky now. They put sugar in everything you can imagine. It usually comes in the form of corn fructose sugar. You’ve got to quit eating crap, folks. It’s not secondhand smoke that’s going to kill you. It’s not red meat that’s going to kill you. It’s the over indulgence of pretend food. Got it?

Over eat all this pretend food, and you get what you’ve got bloated, smelly, stinky, gassy…more importantly, though, hypertension and heart disease. You probably won’t even poop for days. Just think about it. You won’t be pooping. That’s no good.

What will Gary and I be wearing? Think about that. No sugar. See if you can just give up sugar for a month. You’ll look better, you’ll feel better, you’ll sleep. These articles come out once in a while, and they’re just rehashing them. But this one’s worth looking at, because people, you don’t think about it. You grab a pop and you head off to work. You grab a pop because you’re thirsty.

Just start drinking water. Get rid of pop. Pop is evil. Pop people are evil, evil! That is all for our blog. Goodbye.