the secret to eternal life and happiness…sugar!
hey kids! when you’re on a quest for knowledge about health and happiness such as i am, you must travel far and wide to uncover the myth which is plentiful as well as the truth which is scares. so on this episodic journey of mine i am forced to endure dogma and dissent, skepticism and fear, insane philosophy and lots of denial about what’s right what’s wrong and whats the deal. so when it comes to meal time, snacking time, it usually equates toor from stress time or im bored time. nothing beats the hell out of the blues or boredom like our refined friend sugar, yes sugar crystalline white and worthless mmmm please bury me deep deep in its spell like symphonic pleasures. it has become the worst if not most consistently abused drug in the west.
yep sugar. as far as i can tell this refined sugar epidemic is the key to what kills ya. scientists will tell you that hydrogen is the most abundant naturally occuring substance in the cosmos, but the cosmos never visted the mall of america where the world goes to shop and consume its body weight plus in refined sugar snacks in the form of the strolling cookie cups or the buns of cinomin. we consume till we expand — literally — but fear not my fellow sugar freaks you are in the land of the triple x tee shirts and moo moo’s and you can conviently purchase a new shirt that will cover up those incessant fatty things hanging off your body… and order another deep fried sugar-coated funnal cake… and stroll on down the mall walk looking for that next best snack.
ahhhhh shopping and eating, eating and shopping — it is what this country is about. where else could you go and visit the most perfect city in the country san francisco… and for go the real hustle and flow of what makes that city so special such as mountains, ocean, art, history; a cultural mix that co-exists on a remarkable level. but it has the one thing that seems unavoidable in every corner of the u s a tourist junkyard: the fishermans wharf, a S.F. landmark where people set up shops, sell their crap and perform, panhandle and yes feed the swells of tourists eager to eat stuff and buy stuff and maybe ride the boat thingy to that island. but mainly eat stuff that comes in a bag that says S.F. on it oh and has lots of sugar all over it. forget the hiking, the surfing, the biking in a city that in itself is worth the walk! no sir, we will eat thank you very much, oh yeah and bitch americans on vacation seem to bitch a lot but that’s for another article
when did this consumerism reach the tipping point when did we chose to ignore ourselves ? hell, who knows really and at this point it does not matter. the thing about this sugar deal is it seems to be the main reason behind the epidemic of diabetes and obesity. yet no war on eating… yet. but the goverment I’m sure is hovering around that thought and how it can tax your chunky butt for being chunky. meanwhile the pharma cos are scambling to void out your need to move with the creation of a pill and a list of side effects that take half a commercial to explain. this doesn’t seem to bother the politicians or the concerned mothers for a drug-free school… nope these are the good drugs. we don’t need to worry about what is going in the legal snacking food of america. it’s perfectly safe. the government is watching out for us. what could go wrong? this year alone, the obesity in america will affect half of the youth population… and i think thats a low estimate. meanwhile, people are costantly eating, eating as if it were a religion as a matter of fact. they’re eating made up food; pretend dishes and delicacies that may or may not exist in the known universe… again, what could go wrong ?
so in my less than infinite wisdom of 30-plus years in the health game, you tend to come across tried and true methods that stand the test of time and keep reappearing in different costume changes and media presentations… such as real food! its all the rage. articles about our neanderthal relatives eating a certain way plants and animals (no drive-throughs yet) and how these primitive beings were healthier than we are because they roamed free and ate what was avaliable. no tv, no snacks, no sugar, no fun… just survival and teradactyls trying to eat your offspring… but then again there’s the 6 meals a day plan, the detox plan, the fat plan the… go to a bookstore and you will see why there is such an industry built around food and fitness. people want to be healthy, as long as its fast and easy and you get a cool looking outfit with a microprocessor built in to your underwear. and by the way they’re not going to follow-through with it anyway; it’s too time-consuming they have to watch tv and shop for…….. sugar
the quest for feeding more people got out of control with the ability of science to expand on its ability to make stuff with new stuff added and… i’m sure its safe. goodbye DDT in the late 60s hello new fancy DDT which is more friendly to the enviroment but not so much your internal organs but hey the trees look good and birds are getting huge and the grass has never been greener. meanwhile our internal organs are being violated with cancer-causing science built right into your tomatoes. big farm co will not cop to this… they are selling record amounts of pretend foods to every third world country on the planet dont rock the boat!!
we are classic over-achievers; if it can be done we will do it. if you can make a candybar twice as crunchy and addictive… why not three times? well why not? its biz, folks and you’re the coma-induced masses that tweet and facebook and text while chewing on the chemistry of food science. you need to stop. stop now
solutions
simple easy effortless write down what you eat don’t be a freak about it just in general and honestly… i said honestly!
now after 1 week, look at what you eat the chances are it wont be food. then the following week, eat only things that are fruits, veggies or proteins. no, you may not have a protein bar. eat an egg, a salad just things that are real. bread or rolls are not natural, they have to be made. get the idea?
next week — or week 3 for those of you keeping track — see how you feel and what that might tell you about what you’re doing to your short-term health as well as your long-term health. it will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself.
I quit eating sugar and processed foods and feel great