No! Of course they are not.

I had this wild idea. This is just insane, this is just nuts. You’re not going to believe it. What about if you got a real tennis racket and you went to a real tennis court?

Fitness council gives video games OK. Well, watch my head blow up. This is going to be good. The Presidents Council on Fitness, and, boy, that’s the best council on fitness on the planet, sports and nutrition, a venerable organization that has been promoting pushups and sit ups and other traditional forms of sweating since the days of Eisenhower finally has plugged into the high tech.

It goes on to say that because they’re so progressive in Washington, DC, that now they’ve done studies on kids, by the way, who, on average, spend seven and a half hours a day in front of their TV and video.

I’ll get back to that. But, anyway, so, they’ve come to make the decision that these games that you can play golf and tennis and all this on your video screen are just as efficient as healthful as playing the real game.

Now, there’s my first problem. I’m thinking you can buy a video game that Tiger Woods plays golf and you can play golf with Tiger Woods, or you can do a dance video with the little things. Or you can do a tennis video.

I had this wild idea. This is just insane, this is just nuts. You’re not going to believe it. What about if you got a real tennis racket and you went to a real tennis court? No, that’d never work.

Oh my god. America is nose diving. It’s expanding exponentially at the waist and shrinking in its brain. Hunter Thompson was right. A generation of swine. Big brains, fat necks, monstrous wallets and no muscles. He said that in 1982. He was so disturbed, he blew his own brains out. I’m thinking he had something going there.

Oh my god, folks, really? We can spend $300 on a video game that the kids will get bored of in about a week, or you could buy a tennis racket and go play tennis.

Stop it. You have got to stop this stupidity. Learn how to swim in a pool. Learn how to run outside. Do a push up. I know it may go against the Presidents Council and, heaven forbid, we go against the Presidents Council. They are growing their own rutabagas now.

Get off your ass, get outside or I will come over to your house and I will pin one of those really weird little presidential seals right on your nose. Go home.